The Live Performance Mentor Analyses BEFORE I DIE, The Cavendish Arms, London . There is a certain clunky disorganisation to this performance which could be successful in a different, more deliberate context, but it serves here as this performance’s major downfall. Firstly, there is a semantic confusion with the purporterd form of the performance: cabaret. I can certainly understand the attractively pompous and extravagant connotation of a ‘cabaret’, and the cosy-lounge and fourth-wall-breaking style, that all together led to using the term as a descriptor of this performance, but this performance is certainly not a cabaret but a simple medley concert, especially given that the vast majority of this work is performed sitting down. Thus, from the very beginning, we have a misleading title and promotional material. Secondly, the very purpose of this performance is communicated differently at the very beginning vs throughout: is it to create one’s own artistic opportunities because there are so few out there, is it to look good for an Arts Council application, or is it to secure an artist’s visa? Lastly, we have the consistent performance-based mishaps upon which I shall elaborate below.  These significant concerns remain such without a noteworthy degree of irony: we must feel that the performers are describing themselves and their work ironically ; that the work is of high-quality and is deliberate , well structured, clever and refined; and that the mishaps and misuses are pre-determined and rehearsed aspects of the performance, serving only to accentuate the integrity of the work. When we have faltering vocals, forgotten lyrics, stumbles over set pieces, missed cues, etc., and this is not ironic , it is easy as an audience member [with no internal familiarity with the performers] to feel cheated of one's money and time. It is easy to feel that the performers are, indeed, just ticking a box for a funding application or doing the bare minimum to evidence the propriety of their stay. [NB: This is the impression, of course — an inoffensive reading and not truly evidenced as the reality.] There are some very tender moments in this performance where emotionality pairs well with refined and controlled vocals, most notably in Kelsey Marlowe Jessup's parts. The desire to include and interact heavily with the audience is also a good direction for this performance, though this feels indecisive in the first segment, and so there is too extreme a shift when we are invited to sing ‘When I Grow Up’ in the second [a section of participation that really ought to be a lot shorter, I may add]. The underlying concept, regardless of its articulation and form, is most inviting as well, but this is certainly overclouded by inconsistencies in reason and delivery. For Kira Gaudynski , I would really recommend singing in a lower register, especially as currently there is an over-reliance upon the head voice, which causes notes to either falter with a strain of the vocal cords or to be projected nasally — both most common to this performance, where pitch has been prioritised over tone. I would also pay attention to note accuracy, as there is often an inaccuracy of a half- or whole step, and there is a particular tendency for control to falter when scaling up abruptly seven whole steps or higher. For Marlowe Jessup , some very strong vocals at times; I would just be wary of the overuse of vibrato and the control over notes leading up to and succeeding its usage, which are often quite shaky. To sustain the note and introduce vibrato further into the notes at the end of verses would have a greater, punchier effect and would demonstrate further control. This standard public analysis ends here. A premium analysis may be requested (see below). [Premium Analysis] For the Creatives Behind this Performance: Additional Notes Are Available on… Performance Styles: Significant Clash Between the Two Performers. Onstage Personae and Their Communications. Structuring Narrative Work and Autobiographical Material. Incorporation of the Pianist. Use of Space: Topography, Use of Properties and Choreography. Audience Participation: Agency and Invitations. Backstage Etiquette. Premium analyses are delivered privately and are deliverable within 48 hours of their request. Request a Performance Analysis This standard public analysis was produced at the request of the creatives behind this performance. To request your own (public or  private) analysis, please click the button below. -

The Live Performance Mentor Analyses LEARNING, Upstairs at the Gatehouse, London. Photography Credit: Sebastian Gonzalez. In the post-show Q&A, a few things came up that really resonated with some of my readings of this performance. An audience member described the performance as ‘anti-religious’, and the playwright, Francesca Rose, herself described early drafts of the text as ‘rants’ and ‘monologues’ and stated that she was worried that the performance would be unpalatable and rather lecturing. Indeed, there is an element of expounding and verbosity in this text that divorces it greatly from its otherwise character-based plot. There is also, indeed, a significant imbalance in the arguments against vs those for Jewish practices/rituals, with these ‘ranting monologues’ — to associate Rose’s own description with Debs’s loquacious and angry speeches (Gemma Franco) — constituting the vast majority of the text.   Debs’s anger is unmatched and significantly unquestioned; she speaks, uninterrupted, with Jonathan prompting her: “help me understand.” Conversely, she denigrates him and his decisions, does not prompt him to expand on his reasonings, and dismisses his every attempt to express himself and his ideas. This anger is unparalleled; we are not introduced to the beauty and intrigue that convinces Jonathan so much, and so, rather than an inquiry into Jewish practices, rituals and customs, their fairness or their dubiousness, we are left only with this resounding anger. Metatheatrical decisions also do not soften this sense of frustration and, sometimes, even rage.   Of course, we understand that Jonathan is in favour of Judaism, its cultures, its ideals and its teachings, but the text does not — and deliberately, it seems — provide extensive, articulate and eloquent reasonings. Perhaps this could be avoided by more profound explanations from Jonathan (Nick Delvallé) as his Jewish learning  develops, as, currently, this imbalance is unaided by the fact that he is a born-again Jew and does not have sufficient wisdom/understanding to support his claims.   Alternatively, there does not need to be a balance, and the play has every right to be explicitly exploratory and reprimanding of Jewish teachings and ritualisations, chiefly because this is reflective of the playwright’s own experience and perspective. However, it is imperative that this chosen imbalance be decisive and deliberate, with reason and purpose. At the moment, its voice is unclear both structurally and stylistically. What is the play really saying? Because the spokesperson for the play’s inquisitions is a frustrated and resentful Debs, the text cannot exploring or inquire but can only reprimand. Indeed, it could be far more thought-provoking if questions were asked and left unanswered, as opposed to handed to us in Debs’s lectures.   Regarding style, then, the performance is divisible into three main forms: sterile and essay-like reflective segments, dance work, and character-based narrative. These three styles seem to clash significantly with one another in the manner in which they desire to express the underlying material, and this leads to stylistic inconsistency. The former of these styles, however, takes notable precedence, and we often find in scenes of the latter form its strictly formal language and direct audience address type resurface and consume. This is intensified with the two actors – but most frequently, Franco — awkwardly and robotically turning away from one another to face and deliver the lines to the audience. Structure and its ornamentation ought to be carefully reconsidered to rectify this clash.   The content is incredibly thought-provoking and appealing to non- and ex-/believer communities alike, either for its direct relatability or in the breakdown of the couple’s relationship for diverging needs. Its themes are engaging, enjoyable, sincere and articulate, and it is clear that its creatives have really digested and understood the significance and meaning of the material, communicating it decisively. This standard public analysis ends here. A premium analysis may be requested (see below). [Premium Analysis] For the Creatives Behind this Performance: Additional Notes Are Available on… Plot Structure and Stylistic Consistency. Maintaining Realism and Authenticity in Character Speech. Set Design: Spatial Arrangements and Topography. The Effects of Direct Audience Address in this Performance. Characterisation, Character Profiles, and Acting Styles — Detailed Feedback Per Actor . Premium analyses are delivered privately and are deliverable within 48 hours of their request. Request a Performance Analysis This standard public analysis was produced at the request of the creatives behind this performance. To request your own (public or  private) analysis, please click the button below. -

Visit The Thistle Corner Homepage 6 MORE OF MY TOP TIPS TO OVERCOME WRITER'S BLOCK However seasoned or experienced, most writers will suffer from writer's block  at some point. In this third instalment of a three-part series , you'll learn 6 more exercises to overcome writer's block! That's a total of 12 tips! Click here to see my previous 6 tips! TIP 7: THE ALPHABET METHOD A popular method to overcome writer's block is to write each letter of the alphabet down the side of a page. Then, for every letter, provide a noun or adjective that starts with that letter — e.g. A ustralia, B lue, C avernous, D ice, and so on. Pick six of these at random, and let them inspire your next events . See where it takes you! You could also consider using chance: pick one letter at random, and flick to a random page in a dictionary under that letter. See what the word and its definition inspire! TIP 8: RECONSIDER YOUR WRITING SPACE If the environment in which you're writing makes you feel stagnant and irritable , then your writing is bound to be affected. How can you write something authentically beautiful and visceral when you feel so distressed and uncomfortable? Consider making your writing space peaceful but relevant . Whenever you write, return to the exact same space and setup : same chair, same coffee, same notepad/pens (or laptop positioning)… Having a repeated pattern like this will help you to  condition yourself to get into the writing mood , and the more regularly you do it, the quicker that mood will come! Note that I wrote find a 'relevant' space. Personally, spending days at my boyfriend's home in Potters Bar was a great inspiration for 'Second Home' in 101 Poems , and spending quiet, windy nights on the beach when visiting him in his current Brighton home is wonderful for The Fisherman's Daughter . Most writers enjoy a quiet and isolated writing space, but consider a loud, busy environment  too. For me, cafes, trains and public spaces are my favourites. Eccentric strangers are always wonderful inspirations, and  background sounds  help to drain out superfluous thoughts. TIP 9: RESEARCH! “One of the most beautiful and interesting things about the writing process is what it allows you to discover about the world around you.” You want to write an outer-space sci-fi book because you love outer space so much?! That’s great! …But you soon realise you actually know nothing  about how space works... Writer's block can strike because you're not simply out of ideas , but you just can't fathom what the story ideas could possibly be, because you   just   haven't done any research . As a writer, you'll know some weird facts — because you have to in order to  make your work realistic, authentic and feasible . Suspension of disbelief can only take you — and, more importantly, your readers — so far. And what better time to take a moment out of your writing to research than when writer's block strikes?! Harvest everything you come across: Facts. Figures. Dates. Historical fashion trends. Cultural traditions. Meteorological phenomena. Cuisines. Architecture. This tip can give you more confidence in writing if low self-esteem is the cause of your writer’s block. Even if you're not stuck, research always sparks inspiration — just like it did for my ideas on the weather and fishing methods in The Fisherman's Daughter . TIP 10: LOOK OVER YOUR WRITING Be wary of this tip: if you're experiencing writer's block due to self-esteem or confidence issues, you may find looking over your work whilst you're self-deprecating and pessimistic may not be the best idea...! Otherwise, what better time than now to proofread?! Re-reading your work can actually help you to rediscover features of your story you’ve already written but have forgotten about , and these can inspire what happens next. Or maybe you'll find things that stand out as cringe-worthy or frustrating , and you can channel your creative energy into rewriting  these, rather than stressing about coming up with completely new  material. TIP 11: KEEP A DREAM JOURNAL Dreams are factories of interesting and poignant content. They deal with primal fears and, sometimes, genuinely relatable aspects of your life. We forget 90% of our dreams within 10 minutes of waking up! So, every morning, write down your dreams in a journal immediately  after you wake. Sometimes, dream content isn’t particularly stimulating to read about; in this case, it’s the emotion the dream gives you that’s most important . How did it make you feel ? Finding a way to encapsulate and depict that emotion and the mood of the dream   is very useful. As a writing exercise, you can even  try describing the dreams exactly as they were but in the genre of your current story . This way, you’re focusing on the type of words you use, the moods and atmospheres you create, and the way  you tell a story — inspiration for story content specifically can come later! TIP 12: HAVE A BREAK FROM WRITING It may seem counter-productive , but having a break is sometimes necessary to relieve the pressure  you've been putting on yourself. When you're so concerned with how your writing should come across, it can be easy to lose touch with how it actually is coming across, especially in the editing process after looking over your work so many times . Taking a break (not too long!) can help you to take a step back and, with fresh eyes, reassess your work  and its direction. However, this is a break from the physical  act of writing only; you should still remain open to inspiration . “Allow time for a ‘Don't call us; we'll call you‘ approach from your ideas!” Remember: it's better to take a little extra time with your writing for it to be polished , well crafted, and the best demonstration of your creative ability, than it is to rush and spoil it. HAVE MORE TIPS OF YOUR OWN? Use the comment section to share your own writer's block–busting techniques to help other writers who might be in the exact same position you were! Alternatively, start a conversation by tagging @25ThistleCorner  on your social media platform of choice!

Visit The Thistle Corner Homepage MY 6 TOP TIPS TO OVERCOME WRITER'S BLOCK However seasoned or experienced, most writers will suffer from writer's block  at some point. In this second instalment of a three-part series , you'll learn my firs 6 of 12 exercises to help your creative juices flow again . The beauty of these exercises is that they don't have to be permanent decisions  in your writing; they're simply quick, effective prompts to get you back into the writerly flow and to  rebuild your confidence in your ability to write ! “The surefire way to get rid of writer's block is to just write! You can always erase it afterwards! Writing something is always better than nothing!” TIP 1: RECONTEXTUALISE YOUR CHARACTERS Write 500+ words about your character in an entirely different context . Force them into new, uncharted territories to experience the kinds of people/situations you’d never consider for them. What would happen, for example, if your Ancient Greek goddess worked an office job for a day, or if your murder-mystery detective had a holiday in the Bahamas? Ask yourself: What new challenges  would they face? What would they learn about themselves  in their new roles? And, more importantly, what would you  learn about them ? Such discoveries, however minute, can uncover: personality traits  you hadn't considered. inspirations for their next scenarios . new fears and ambitions . new skills or   methods of reasoning. TIP 2: A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW Rewrite a section from a different perspective . How does your antagonist  interpret events? What about a side character , an innocent bystander , the  pet goldfish , or even an  inanimate object  in the room? Experiment with switching up your narrative voice and form . Choose a different voice — first-person, third-person, etc. Choose a different form — newspaper article, letter, personal diary entry, police report, etc. With this tip, you don't have to come up with new material; just find different ways to express the material you already have . This way, you'll help yourself to recall the physical art and practice of writing itself and to put it back into motion. TIP 3: BLOW SOMETHING UP Maybe it's not writer's block you're suffering from…  maybe it's just that the story itself is losing your interest:  it's predictable, static, monotonous. In this case, add some drama to the mix ! Make a fire start somewhere, abduct someone's child, call for an alien attack, send someone to A&E…  — all in your story, I mean! Not in real life! Otherwise, try something far less extreme: a random emotion or memory is triggered  out of nowhere for your character, unleashing a new direction for them…or they stub their toe off the bedframe, and it’s the final straw — they completely lose it! Whatever you choose, make some drama, some conflict, some tension . Spice things up a bit , and see what happens and how your characters react. TIP 4:   PAREIDOLIA Pareidolia is the human propensity to notice patterns, forms, shapes and faces  when they aren't actually there. To overcome writer's block, allow your subconscious to find inspiration in these faces and forms for you: look to the clouds . See what you can identify in them, what repeated patterns you can make out, and use them to inspire what happens next . A sword, for instance, could signify an actual medieval battle, or it could signify a rift between two honeymooners. The same process applies to doodling, stargazing, forest-walking, portrait admiring… See what you find in your mind’s eye , beyond what’s really there. TIP 5: AUTOMATIC WRITING What's the best advice I have for a writer suffering from writer's block? "Write, write, write!", of course! To practice this tip is  to pour out the subconscious by writing with no self-censorship and no inhibitions . Allow whatever's lurking in your mind's recesses to bloom on through and reveal itself upon the page. Your first few attempts might be “awful” , i.e. they might be uninspiring gibberish or rambling — especially when deep in the ditches of writer’s block — but it’s not about making something beautiful;  it’s just about forcing yourself to physically practice writing . It will force  you past that fear of a blank page, and your pen to paper. The more comfortable you get with staring at a blank notebook, the quicker you'll get rid of that writer’s block! Note: A pen and paper is recommended over typing for this tip , as it allows for more complex cognitive processes and the necessary time to think. TIP 6: LISTEN TO MUSIC Music can be an effective tool to block out disruptive background noises or that niggling inner voice  reminding you about tonight's household chores or the weekly shopping list. Punchy or romantic lyrics can inspire  actions, characters, moods and events — and the rhythms and melodies of instrumentals can inspire you, too . Conversely, you can try to find music that works against your writing : see how the tempo clash alters your descriptions. If your creative juices are particularly low, try rewriting sections of your writing with this method — an excellent way to overcome writer's block without having to generate new material. BONUS TIP: STAY CONNECTED! It's important to be connected to a network of writers , so make yourself known in the comment section, or tag @25ThistleCorner on any social media platform to get a conversation going! Learn from fellow writers, and share your own wisdom! 6 MORE TIPS TO COME! Stay tuned! On 12th February, I'll be posting 6 more tips! That's a total of 12 tips to overcome writer's block! (Ooh, 12 on the 12th! How symbolic!) Subscribe to Thistle Corner to be notified when the post is released!

Visit The Thistle Corner Homepage However seasoned or experienced, most writers will suffer from writer's block at some point. In this first instalment of a three-part series , you'll learn what writer's block is and why it happens . WHAT IS WRITER'S BLOCK? Most — if not all — writers have experienced writer's block. And it's rightly otherwise known as " the fear of the blank page ". It's simply the inability to write, to generate ideas, to produce the next chapter. The mind goes completely blank, and you have no idea how to rescue yourself . WHEN DOES WRITER'S BLOCK STRIKE? Usually, there are three instances when writer's block occurs: At the very beginning of a writing project: you've no idea where to begin. At the onset of a critical turning point in your story: the pressure to write a good story. Just after a climax in your story: all the good stuff's over…so, now what? “Understand specifically why you have writer's block first before you consider how to overcome it.” PRESSURE Consider if pressure is the issue . Pressures are a less common but equally viable cause of writer's block. They could include: Personal or professional deadlines . Word count goals . A big one: relying on writing for income and thus for your survival. Expectations from others . Self-inflicted pressures : "I need to be better", "This chapter has to be perfect." These last two are quite noteworthy heavy pressures which come hand-in-hand with these next potential causes… (If PRESSURE is the cause of your writer's block, see the following tips in the next posts in this series : #5, #6, #8, #9, #10 & #12.) SELF-ESTEEM Perhaps the issue transcends your writing life into your personal life. Low self-esteem and confidence are the most common cause of writer's block . All the while you're over-judging yourself and your work, you'll never be able to create anything of true value. Just let your creativity out , and whatever happens happens! “You can always erase it if you don't like it! No one has to know!” You'll know you have low self-esteem in your writing if you experience any of the following: Comparing yourself to others excessively and unhealthily. Hyper-perfectionism : going over and over...and over...the same sentences/sections trying to make them "perfect". Feeling that your work is worthless , that no one would ever be interested enough to read it. Feeling your vocabulary isn't big enough . (If SELF-ESTEEM is the cause of your writer's block, see the following tips in the next posts in this series: #2, #5, #6, #8 & #9.) UNCERTAINTY You could feel uncertain about: The direction of your story. The authenticity or historical/scientific accuracy of your story. Whether your story is sellable . Whether readers would like your work. (If UNCERTAINTY is the cause of your writer's block, see the following tips in the next posts in this series: #1, #2, #3, #8, #9, #10 & #12.) ENVIRONMENT Sometimes, it's nothing personal. Sometimes, it's just the context you're writing in. For some, this means: A noisy house full of children . Loud family members or flatmates . Messy or disorganised rooms . Lack of a stable writing space . Traffic and poor weather conditions outside. SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) could also play a part in environmental inhibitors, as well as financial difficulties whereby the home becomes a reminder of struggle. Alternatively, you could be experiencing writer's block due to the opposite: Your space is too quiet and uninspiring . Your writing space is not stimulating enough, so procrastinatory habits develop: " doom-scrolling ", fiddling with nearby items, etc. Consider if any of these are preventing you from writing. (If ENVIRONMENT is the cause of your writer's block, see the following tips in the next posts in this series: #6, #8 & #12.) FATIGUE AND EXHAUSTION Perhaps you've been overworked lately: too many projects, errands, and physically demanding activities . Or perhaps you're suffering from writing fatigue — you've been demanding too much of yourself writing-wise, and you need to just take a break . If you're feeling particularly low and run-down, this could pour out into your writing , and your now-soured writing could become something in which you consequently lose interest . It could be that you're in a spiralling cycle: feeling depressed or dejected causes you to write less , which causes you to feel unproductive and distressed again, etc. (If FATIGUE AND EXHAUSATION are the cause of your writer's block, see the following tips in the next posts in this series: #3, #8, #10 & #12.) LACK OF INSPIRATION Note: this doesn't mean that you're actually suffering with an inability to generate ideas! A lack of inspiration can be induced by the causes already mentioned in this post, or it can be because you've simply lost interest in your story — or were never truly interested in the first place! Commonly, this is experienced by writers who are writing for someone else : newspapers, agents, or simply their imagined audience (who they think their target readers are and what they like). (If LACK OF INSPIRATION is the cause of your writer's block, absolutely all of the tips in the next posts in this series will help you, so check out them all!) HOW TO OVERCOME WRITER'S BLOCK Now that we've addressed some of the reasons why — and some of the types of situations in which — writer's block occurs, we now have a better understanding of what we're really facing . So now, how do we tackle it? “As creatives, we never truly run out of ideas; we just run out of that much-needed mojo to put them into words!” Stay tuned! In my next Thistle Thursday's post, you will learn 6 exercises to get your creative juices flowing again! But first, you must consider the cause of your writing block before we can do this work together! IT HELPS TO SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES Share in the comments section or start a conversation by tagging @25ThistleCorner on any social media platform. Perhaps the causes listed in this post are the exact same ones preventing you from writing, or maybe you've got a unique cause that you want help with. Whatever it is preventing you from creating, other writers have experienced it too! See what guidance I and others have, just by reaching out! STAY TUNED: SAVE THE DATE! Next week, I'll share my first 6 tips to overcome writer's block! Visit Thistle Corner Homepage on 6th February 2025 to be the first to read it!

HUNT! Firstly, don't just look for writing competitions specifically; look for writing opportunities! Wherever there are writers, there are individuals and organisations providing opportunities for them! Discovering Pen to Print’s creative writing classes, for instance, led me to their writing competition, The Book Challenge 2025, for which The Fisherman’s Daughter was shortlisted, and now it is set for publication . Being shortlisted means I will also be mentored by Jacqueline Gabbitas, shaping my novel for its winter release this year. So, be open to attending free writing events as well; you never where one might take you! FIND! Where can you find these opportunities? • Eventbrite & Meetup : Great for local events (Eventbrite is how I found Pen to Print!). • Poets & Writers : A treasure trove of contests and grants. • Reedsy : Lists competitions for every genre. • NewPages & Almond Press : Focused on chapbook and publishing contests. PREPARE! Pen to Print welcomed all genres, which let The Fisherman’s Daughter  shine. But most competitions are very specific about what they will accept. Research carefully and follow all their rules: Know the genre, theme, and form required . Understand the guidelines for word count, font type and size, text alignment, etc. Familiarise yourself with deadlines to submit on time and avoid post-submission stress. Polish your manuscript : proofread and get feedback from trusted peers and family. NEXT WRITING COMPETITIONS! Writing competitions are just gateways . After shortlisting, my mentor helps refine The Fisherman’s Daughter , but the work is mine to complete . The same applies to you: “Success opens doors, but your actions define the journey.” If rejected, don’t stop ; keep submitting, and keep writing. Some competitions might say no, but there are hundreds more out there, and one of them has a prize with your name on it! FOR MORE ADVICE AND INSPIRATION Embarking on the journey of submitting to writing competitions is a commendable step toward honing your craft and gaining recognition. As you prepare your entries, consider exploring my collection of poetry books and book accessories designed to inspire and support writers like you, and subscribe to Thistle Corner for more posts like these!

Welcome to Thistle Corner ! Thistle Corner is heart and home to all my writing endeavours, which not only includes getting to share my work with you but also my pro tips for success in writing! It blends my interests as a creative and educator across the variety of forms — poetry, short stories, novels, screenplays and stage plays — and genres in which I work — my personal favourite being dark fantasy! My blog is a place to share my reflections on my work and experiences writing in the hope that they will be of use to other writers and of interest to other readers. And it’s a spot where I get to let you know about my new writing creations and projects on the Thistle Corner bookstore , and my initiatives to protect the environment during the process! JOIN MY COMMUNITY But most of all, I want Thistle Corner to be a hub of creativity! I want to hear your creative voice and your opinions as readers or writers — tell me about your favourite (and least favourite!) books, your current poetry collections of choice, reading/writing goals for the year, and any of your thoughts on my work and blog! I want to make Thistle Corner a special home of creativity and love! SOCIAL MEDIA You can find Thistle Corner on social media: @25thistlecorner Reach out! Say hello! I love hearing from fellow readers and creatives!

Chaos and absurdity are the very best friends of this performance, which remains throughout, in its content and style, unpredictable, ludicrous and energised. The comedy in this text, written by Aidan Pittman and Hudson Hughes and also directed by Hughes , is particularly strong, with a consistent library of subversions, hyperboles, and abrupt dark quips, and is permitted to flourish well with good timing and a wonderfully exaggerative characterisation by Pittman (also playing Dr Dolittle). Pittman has excellent vitality and has created a most unique and discernable identity for his character. Positioning of the mouth and sudden yet precise gesticulations, side glances to the audience upon innuendo and in-joke…the caricature with which Pittman presents us is exceptional in its conception and consistency. Conversely, I must admit that after halfway into the performance, the Doctor’s peculiar and lovable idiolect and his sharp, articulated and rather robotic movements had disappeared, and I understand this is due, in part, to a faltering in plot/narrative and in performance style, whereby there is an inherent difficultly in marrying the performance content with the Doctor’s character. The text is divisible into three main parts: the video depictions; the story of the ‘huge fucking ruby’; and the main premise that contextualises it all, which I will refer to as the ‘talk show’, wherein Dr Dolittle presents himself, his recent successes, and his new book. It is these two latter parts that allow for the greatest disconnect in content, namely in their chosen modes of presentation: the story of the huge fucking ruby is, overall, self-contained, owing to dialogues between him and secondary characters and to first-person self-references and descriptions of the events he had experienced. The talk show, however, sees a direct audience address wherein specific audience members, as opposed to the general audience as a whole, are targeted and approached. The story, and the video projections themselves, remain generally descriptive and mimetic, consciously ignoring the presence of the audience, barring a few passive invitations for audience participation [upon which I shall elaborate later]; the talk show, on the other hand: metatheatrical, confrontational, self-referential. Whilst references to murder/death and Eddie Murphy’s film portrayals of the Doctor are frequent throughout, Eddie’s ultimate murder at the end of the play feels the most incongruous of all the material. There ought still to be structure to this chaos, which is admittedly present in the artificial existence of a story with chapters, a throughline, motifs, etc. but, despite a strong beginning with clarity, purpose and direction, nonexistent in the talk show sections. That all should be resting upon this final murder — the very title of the play forboding it, the Doctor having somehow predicted it all, the related merchandise he has prepared — and that the murder should be presented as a denouement of sorts is most incoherent, given that the material has not drawn significant focus to this at all. Performance style is complicated further by metatheatrical references which coincide with Pittman’s fading persona of the Doctor: Pittman referencing his involuntary sweat; his stating he ought to “get back into character”; the awkward bumbling as “Eddie Murphy” asks the audience to excuse him whilst he struggles to make his way through them and to the stage; the casual and non-performative manner in which the audience are admitted into the house; and, to some degree, how audience participation is conceived and prompted. Subtractive items aside, this remains a most enjoyable performance, a rollercoaster treat. Comedy is refined, articulate and well executed, and the facilitative video graphics and overall characterisation we are presented make for a fascinating and inspired watch. “A hilarious, creative and inspired performance.” Additional Notes on This Performance [for the Requester of this Analysis] This technical analysis is included for free as part of The Performance Critic’s standard service. Please get in touch with Lee James Broadwood to receive your additional support and notes, as part of a premium analysis, concerning: Coherency in and organisation of multiple plots/narratives. Finalising performance content, and denouements. Incorporation of secondary characters. Effects of metatheatre and encroachment on audience territory. Inclusion of technical elements and special effects. These will be shared privately upon request. Want a technical analysis for your own live performance? Private and public analyses are requestable by any artist and for any live performance type. For more information, please click here . Artists from across the UK and [online] across the globe can also benefit from guidance, support and training in the form of consultations and/or workshops as part of my work as a live performance mentor .

This review will consider Abigail , a play written by Stephen Gillard (also the play’s director) and Laura Turner. It is currently being performed at The Space, presented by Fury Theatre. Aesthetically, this is a rather sleek and mostly accurate performance, beyond the lack of layers or headwear in costume or the erroneous inclusion of Mrs Constance’s (Sophie Kamal) scarf, for example. Costume designs themselves, despite these historical inaccuracies, are detailed and imaginative, altogether cohesive and well-tailored. Theatrical properties are superb, and their abundance is an effective decision to embellish what would otherwise be a sizeable and thus distinctly empty and lifeless playing area. The topography of this stage is well-conceived, and, despite this being such a sizeable stage, actors and their movements are spread well across it. Visually, this is a most balanced and creative performance, though it is undeniable that aesthetic considerations have mostly favoured Upstage areas, leaving those Downstage to feel rather disjointed visually, thematically and stylistically. On a similar note, simultaneous scenes are well-conceived and add humour and dimensionality to this performance, providing details and information about the story and the characters without consuming too much valuable stage time. I particularly enjoy the nonchalant yet self-mocking manner in which the first sexual sequence is handled with Milly’s character (Sarah Isbell) and the figure of the “Everyman” played by Nathan Haymer-Bates. This sequence allows for us to enjoy Milly’s exploitation, though we have yet to discover that this is, indeed, a form of exploitation and not a service she provides willingly and of her own accord. This further intensifies our compassion and feeling, through our guilt, when we later find what we ourselves have enjoyed to be all the more dirty, immoral and uncomfortable. However, despite the fact that dialogue is kept rather deliberately weak and ignorable in these simultaneous scenes, the secondary action is oftentimes too distracting and hence to some degree subtractive from the play’s momentum and profundity. This is especially the case when we are offered only needless representations of characters entering rooms only to perform minimal actions, such as lying down upon the bed, and exit very soon afterwards. Nevertheless, these humorous sequences successfully complement our reading, progress the narrative and plot, and provide needed respite from the dark and the ugly. I would just recommend more of these in the second act, as their sudden omission calls for stylistic inconsistency: the first act is far more comedic than the painful, dramatic second. Characters in this performance, if perhaps somewhat caricatural and unidimensional and hence also superficial, are well defined and logically conceived. Actors, overall, represent these profiles well, too. However, this performance suffers from a distinct and non-negligible lack of naturalism. Unless specific background movements have been choreographed and directed, it seems that the majority of the performers struggle to find some natural activities with which preoccupy themselves. Definite exceptions to this are Isbell and Lucy Sheree Cooper (playing Mercy) who remain engaged in and expressive and responsive towards the onstage action in which they are not necessarily directly included. We constantly see Milly eavesdropping on conversations or Cooper’s guilty and forlorn expressions or naïve smile as she gawps on at Abigail’s (Laura Turner) various actions. This constant busyness and activity is commendable. However, and this is more of a directorial issue, it is definitely repetitive to have Milly, for instance, always eavesdropping whilst cleaning the same glasses from the same crate in the same exact position as she always has been. Perhaps more varied activities — sweeping, dusting, washing, etc. — could be conceived for these moments. An editorial issue as well as one specific to the actors, but such repetitivity persists amongst the quieter or more dialogue-heavy scenes. For example, we see Turner in over half of her one-to-one scenes Downstage Right, holding her hands together at her pelvis, swaying side to side flirtily, which is always followed by a chastising, suggestive or passive remark and a snooty turn of the head, then a turn of the body to face her interlocutor, either with derision and confrontation or mesmerisation. Again, an issue with the text that rather unimaginatively forces Abigail into these far-too-similar and mostly inconsequential contexts regularly throughout the performance, Turner’s performance is enabled to seem robotic and unidimensional in this manner. Hence, much more variation is needed in these scenes. On to acting specifically. Perhaps due to initial nervousness, Isbell’s pacing, to begin with, is far too quick and compromises what is otherwise a most successful portrayal. However, this certainly improves as the play goes on. She is otherwise wonderfully expressive, and clear on her character’s intentions. After the initial hiccups, her vocal delivery is superb. Cooper is an excellent performer, pairable with Isbell as the strongest of the cast. She has an excellent grip on her characterisation, from vocal to physical delivery. A completely faultless performer, demonstrating great emotional range and awareness of character development. Articulating with her entire body, always engaged in and aware of the rest of the action on stage, Isbell’s performance is exemplary. Perhaps slightly too caricatural in places, but this is to be expected with a caricature-heavy performance of this nature. Both Turner and James Green (playing Jack) overenunciate throughout the entire performance, their speech becoming too rehearsed and deliberate. This is particularly a problem for Turner’s character who regularly [though perhaps not regularly enough for the written text to define her particular idiolect] speaks in contractions: “ain’t”, “’em [them]”, etc. In fact, regarding speech, all cast members fail to provide us with an accent representative of Salem, providing us with a distinctly English accent, instead, and this is most destructive of illusion. Sticking with Turner specifically, this actress demonstrates a great emotional range, is expressive, has great vocal delivery and understands her character’s motivations and objectives, but only when delivering her character’s lines — with a few notable exceptions, such as in her scenes with Sophie Jane Corner (Solvi). Also a trait of Green’s and, most conspicuously, Solvi’s, Turner tends to remain inexpressive whilst other actors are interacting with her or other cast members still. This is another example of how naturalism is omitted. I must say, however, that Turner has excellent manual expression. It is common for actors to forget about or to have no idea what to do with their hands, and Turner masters this problem well — perhaps, in fact, the best I have seen in a while. Whilst Green is clearly aware of his character’s intentions, is adequately emotive. Green’s physicality and tone of voice do not notably change throughout the entire performance. He aims to be soothing and calm, clearly to juxtapose his abusive and evil nature, all in order to come across as even more manipulative and malicious in his impassibility. This is a far too unrealistic and formalised representation, and also too stereotypical, causing his overall profile to lack depth and naturalism. I would recommend considerably more tonal variation as well as more corporeal expressivity. We should have no inclination that this man is the dark and exploitative character that he is; he should feel natural, normal, romantic and soft as well as feeling and passible , just like any other good-doing character that we ourselves can bond with and relate to. This would ultimately intensify our disgust, discomfort and shame when we realise who he truly is. Currently, his presentation feels too deliberate and, especially with the [needless, inconsequential and clichéd] suggestion made by The Marshall (also Haynes-Bates) that he is, indeed, an abusive and deceitful man, foreshadowing is too extreme, minimising the final impact of this revelation. At the moment, Green limits his expressivity to slow tilts of the head when attempting to woo or coerce the female characters. He does, however, perform his stage slaps very well, indeed. On the topic of Green’s effective stage slaps, the same cannot be said for the portrayal of his initial ‘death’. A weak forward thrust from Turner of the candleholder towards his head, failing to make contact and lacking any palpable impetus, and suddenly he’s on the floor, dead. Similarly, though Isbell does execute her part in this well, after she ‘stabs’ Green, he simply falls to the ground, silent, dead. When such extreme scenes lack realistic quality, their embedded awkward histrionics are further intensified. Naturalism in this way needs to be urgently readdressed. Other physical interactions between the characters, however, from Isbell’s sexual scenelets [with intimacy coordination excellently handled by Haley Muraleedharan, overall] to the dancing scene, are executed very well. When I compare Kamal’s loud, bold and sometimes melodramatic caricaturisation against Haymer-Bates’s total lack of corporeal and vocal expressivity, a stylistic inconsistency arises and, of course, we lose sight of naturalism even further. Kamal has a great command over her character’s mannerisms and facial expressions but struggles consistently to deliver her lines with the correct intonation, emphasising the wrong words or misinterpreting her line altogether. However, she has excellent stage presence and vigour, certainly vitalising her character. As for Haymer-Bates, despite the simplicity of his roles in this performance, this actor remains completely devoid of articulacy and expression, stiffly walking across the stage with a firm, blank face and an unchanging tone of voice. I would personally recast his characters, as they remain completely illegible and devoid of personality. This is perhaps more excusable for his portrayal of the Everyman, but not for The Marshall. His attention to detail is certainly lacking, and one further example of this is during Mercy’s first rape, where he makes no gesture at all that his trousers have been undone, despite Mercy’s assistance in lifting her skirt. Whilst on this topic, this is an excellent portrayal from Mercy here, but I would recommend the creatives not be scared to dedicate more time to this scene, especially given that this is the most poignant and raw in typifying the themes of and presentations in the dramatic text. Sensationalism ought to be avoided, of course, but slower pacing, intenser physicality and more stage time would make this scene all the more harrowing, uncomfortable and visceral, and hence allow for more psychological results amongst audience members. I would recommend the fleetingness of this scene be reconsidered. Finally, Corner. I should first clarify here that Corner meets the director’s conspicuous sensationalist expectations. She is bold, committed and invigorated, aware of her objectives. She has wonderful vocal delivery and an adequate command of her physicality. Her pacing is also very good. Facial expression could be improved, though. However, it is the very concept of her character itself that I find irksome, unhelpful, incongruous and subtractive, and this brings me on to the text itself and its representation of Solvi and its exploration of ‘witches’ [or lack thereof] in general. Solvi is not a witch, only condemned and almost killed as a witch due to Abigail’s internalised homophobia that consumes her after their sexual/romantic relations and causes her to denounce her. So, why is she chanting, singing and coaxing Abigail to lust? She is not dead, as she explains several times towards the end of the play [as though Abigail has some way of knowing this, despite it happening after she ran away], yet explicitly communicates that she is dead in her first appearances, then continuing to haunt Abigail as though a ghost. I do understand that she is a representation of Abigail’s fears, pains and memories, a symbol of herself, of their love, and I do understand the mixed emotions Abigail experiences when thinking about her. However, her representation is far too volatile, her character showing no coherent chronology or structure: in one appearance, she is loving, sweet; in another, a silent, understated observer; in another, rampaging, violent, physical. This is a mere sensationalist representation, aiming to toy with the audience’s emotions, to shock them, to make them feel uneasy and cautious, untrusting and scared, but the results can only be disappointing. Given that the witch trials are only referenced as punishment for the female characters’ homosexuality in this text yet employed distinctly in official descriptions of this performance, I cannot help but feel that the theme of witches and their histories are merely being instrumentalised by the creatives here to attract larger audiences to a performance that, in fact, has nothing to do witches at all. Abigail’s religiousness and her quest for God’s love over Solvi’s sinful temptations are explicit in and essential to the beginning of this performance, yet forgotten immediately after. In fact, I cannot recall a single allusion or reference to Christianity again throughout the entire performance, or to religion and religious practices and thought in general, for that matter. The feminist and anti-patriarchal sisterhood implicit in witching is cleverly integrated into this text, admittedly, but this is a stretch and feels accidental or as though an afterthought. Moreover, that Milly should also be homosexual, and that Abigail should know this without any reason or evidence to believe so, is most questionable. This budding relationship between Milly and Abigail is most underplayed, seeming also as though an awkward afterthought to quickly add a sense of solidarity, passion and connection between the characters before the tumultuous ending. The same can be said of Mrs Constance’s emotional outpouring upon the discovery of Jack’s lifeless body. An entire monologue is dedicated to her character, yet we have had no reason to care for her perspective or to consider her emotions and psychology — once more, because she is a shallow caricature. Despite its harrowing and profound themes, the text remains as distinctly superficial as its characters. One reason for this is the aforementioned sensationalist quality, exemplified by, amongst other things, the first act’s insistence upon all-too-familiar, needless and tiresome jump scares. Solvi’s ‘taunting’ Abigail is reducible at times to mere jibes and insults, but, most importantly, we have the inclusion of metatheatrical techniques, namely direct eye contact with the audience. As we first enter the house, we are confronted with the image of a demented-looking Corner [again a questionable depiction of someone who is not a witch, not evil, not crazy but merely passionate, in love, scared and hurt], sat far Downstage Center, gazing into the eyes of every audience member she can, her head lowered and titled. In her subsequent appearances, Corner offers us ‘intimidating’ glances and stares, often making efforts to break eye contact with Abigail to do this, despite sitting on top of her or stood right before her. There is not a single other element of this performance that employs metatheatrical techniques in this way, meaning that this confrontational indirect audience interaction type remains stylistically inconsistent with the rest of the performance, forcing us not deeper into the text but into a distinct temporospatial awareness: we become aware of ourselves, of the mechanics of theatre, of the space and the Other as well as our relationship to all of these. We become removed from the performance, aware of what we are ‘supposed’ to feel but comfortable and indifferent in the knowledge that this remains an enclosed performance where direct interaction will never force itself upon us. However, on the night I saw this performance [and only this night, I hope], it did. Kamal dropped a coin beneath the chairs of two audience members and interacted with them immediately, demanding they give it back. Whilst she handled this ‘impressively’, still in character, failure to completely ignore the projectile prop and the audience members’ disturbance meant that the illusion of the world of the play had been completely destroyed. If such an incident should occur again in the future, the creatives must ensure they do not address it at all, for then, the incident will remain an issue internalised and only momentarily addressed by the audience. As soon as the creatives address the audience, self-knowing artificiality is extremified, and the play loses all credibility, integrity and professionalism. Leaving the projectile prop communicates that such a ‘mishap’ is merely an endearing potential facet or by-product of experiencing live performance, and not something that went wrong. Finally, some trivial notes. I mentioned jump scares above, and these are also accompanied by drastic and stylistically incongruous changes in lighting states, bringing me on to tech. Especially in the former part of this performance, tech fails to complement and facilitate the action on stage. Notably, volume is far too loud, though the music itself supplements the performance with its catchy and congruous motifs. Blackouts are never dark enough, except for during the transition after Mercy’s rape, revealing subtractive and disillusive transitional activity, and lighting cues do not coincide with the actors’ movements. For example, as soon as Corner sits back down to end the first scene of the play, she is back up again with the slow and untimely fading of her spot, with lights coming back up before she has even left the stage. Most peculiar here, however, is that Corner seemed to pre-empt this, not entirely committing to her seat, implying that this technical decision either was deliberate or has been commonly executed in performance hitherto. Neither should be deemed permissible. Overall, I personally thoroughly enjoyed this performance, but my critical and personal judgements are different things. Most important to reflect upon is that the dramatic text feels as though it is at odds with itself, unsure about its style, its references, its context and its themes. It favours above total coherency and stylistic consistency the notion of thrilling and challenging an audience but fails to focus and particularise our critical attention sufficiently to do so. Its multiplicity in subject matter does not make it versatile and multifarious but convoluted and ill-communicative. It is easy to feel as though we have watched two very different plays, one about sex trafficking and manipulation, and the other about finding oneself and coming to terms with and practising one’s ‘dissident’ sexuality…and then there is the odd reference to witching. With this in mind alongside the items I have expressed above, I am brought to the rating below. “An intriguing story but not yet fully fledged .” Photography Credit: Richard Hall.

The Thistle Corner Blog From nosy neighbours to eccentric passersby, I’ve learned that inspiration for characters can only come from real-life people . Children I have known in my own life, for instance, have inspired the character of Josie in The Fisherman’s Daughter , and even characters in 101 Poems ’s fictional poems have been inspired by strangers or figures I find intriguing. We cannot recreate anything other than what we know , and so it is important t o be a vigilant and observant people-watcher  when it comes to creating characters. “We can only connect with characters when their lives seem real and their problems seem genuine, when they are in imminent danger and need to be rescued.” But how do we make them feel real? Well, here's a good place to start! OBSERVE THOSE CLOSEST TO YOU It is important to start with those closest to you, because we have greater access to their psychology than to the psychology of strangers (and we'll see why this is important soon!). NOTE THEIR SPEECH Repetitions : recurring words, question tags and filler phrases — also consider how and when these are repeated. Positioning of the mouth and the effects of this. Expletives and how they’re used. Register of language : formal, informal, colloquial. These things and any other peculiarities form an idiolect, the key to particularised speech , which is important for giving your character a unique voice but one that is grounded in observable and recognisable patterns . NOTE THEIR MOVEMENT Posture : upright, slouching, shifting, rigid… Hands : positioning; gesticulation types; gestures; and (an interesting one) what does their dominant hand do differently to the other, or are they ambidextrous? Walking vs standing vs sitting : positioning, gait, rhythm… Angular or fluid movements: which do they use when? Head and eyes: positioning, smooth or fluid movements, repeated back-and-forth or up-and-down movements, fixations… THEN, CONSIDER: What key stages of life have shaped their movement? Or: " What training has the body gone through in life to behave the way it does?" What movement and speech patterns can you instantly recognise as indicators of their mood ? What subconscious processes shine through in their physical behaviour? It’s easier with those we know inside and out to attribute mood, perspective and mindset to their movement and speech patterns ; it’s harder with complete strangers. However, training ourselves to have conscious and active perceptions of these patterns  of our close ones can train our minds to discover psychological/symbolic meanings in strangers’ behavioural patterns. So, now let's start the process! OBSERVE STRANGERS Repeat the process above but with a stranger this time. Pay attention to their speech and movement patterns, and then imagine some likely moods, perspectives and mindsets giving rise to these patterns. Create a backstory for them, a history, a feeling diary . Observing speech and movement can be a method for understanding someone's emotions and vice versa ! So, ensure you understand this relationship between psychology and physicality . MAKING A REALISTIC CHARACTER So, you've understood the psychology-physicality relationship from studying those close to you, and you've applied this knowledge to studying strangers. Studying strangers calls for imagination and is the next leap towards imaginary characters. After all, we cannot read minds; we only project what we know and imagine this stranger's feelings and history and how movement and speech patterns are impacted by these, but… “The more varied and profound our ability to project, the more diverse and deeper our characters.” So, now draw from what you've learnt: what distinct speech/movement types and patterns did you come across that you thought were interesting? Breathe your interesting discoveries into your characters to make them come alive! And you've completed the first leg of your journey to making believable and realistic, walking, talking characters! WHAT SPEECH AND MOVEMENT PATTERNS DID YOU OBSERVE? Inspire or get inspired by other writers and use the comment section below, or share your thoughts on social media: @25ThistleCorner on all platforms! HAPPY WRITING

At Thistle Corner, my love for storytelling is matched only by my deep love and respect for the natural world! “Every step on the earth should be careful and tender.” EVERY ORDER HAS A STORY   I want my readers to have a visceral experience  when receiving my books and so not only are the smooth and tactile covers of my books important to me, but so is the conscious packaging .   Each book order is a story in itself, delivered in themed boxes to be satisfyingly unwrapped , each containing a personal sweet treat and a book-specific trinket .   THOUGHTFULLY DESIGNED; SUSTAINABLY WRAPPED   Every order is delivered in recyclable and biodegradable packaging , making every order completely eco-friendly .   BOOKS CRAFTED FOR YOU   My dedication to print-on-demand publishing means that the book you receive has been  printed especially for you , both making it extra special and eco-friendly, eliminating waste and the need for warehouse storage .   It is for this reason that I also welcome and encourage reader responses — either in the form of reviews on Amazon or via interactions and comments on posts or social media. I want  every reader to feel they are part of my community   as well as my heart. Visit my bookstore to discover my work! @25ThistleCorner on all social media platforms.

Visit Thistle Corner Sometimes, ideas feel too important to let go. They’re personal, maybe even therapeutic, and yet you know they’re dragging your story down. They don’t push the plot forward, deepen the characters, or add real value. As tough as it is, sometimes those ideas have to go— but scrapping them doesn’t have to be painful, and it doesn't have to mean losing them forever! This is something I’ve wrestled with in my own writing , and over time, I’ve developed a few ways to make it easier. 1. Don't Just Scrap Bad Ideas... SAVE THEM! Cutting material doesn’t mean it’s gone for good. I like to keep a journal or file of ideas, scenes or dialogues that don’t work right now; they might be perfect for a later project . When I need inspiration, I can go back to those scrapped ideas, and they can often spark something new. 2. Rework Instead of Remove Sometimes, an idea just needs reshaping. A long, clunky scene might work better when fragmented and spread out. Instead of losing the moment entirely, consider if you could reduce it to its good parts and even maybe spread these out across your story . 3. Scrap Bad Ideas? Sounds Fun! Don't see it as painful or shameful to scrap bad ideas! Once you start, there’s something satisfying about cutting what doesn’t work and polishing what does . Think of it as streamlining your story to make it the best it can be — another chance to showcase your writing talent can be found in the skilfulness of your editing! 4. Keep Your Readers in Mind Imagine your ideal reader. Would they be as captivated by the idea as you are, or would something feel off? Thinking about your audience can help you let go of what isn’t working. Instead of being afraid of it, let the pressure of what your readers might think inspire you! 5. Don’t Be Too Precious It’s hard to part with ideas you’ve worked so hard on, but remember: letting go of what isn’t working makes room for something better. Pride can hold you back, but if it makes your story stronger, more interesting, then you're only benefitting yourself if you scrap what's not working! REMEMBER: “To scrap bad ideas is a difficult but necessary part of writing.” How do you decide what to cut? Share your thoughts in the comments, or let me know on social media! @25thistlecorner